The enrolment forms are due and the open days are over, but you and your ex have landed on two different schools. Knowing what happens if parents disagree on schooling is a crucial first step, as education is one of the most common flashpoints separated parents face. It can feel impossible when you each firmly believe you are doing what is best for your child.
The reassuring part is that disagreements like this are usually sorted out without a courtroom in sight. Research from the Australian Institute of Family Studies shows that 97% of separated parents work out their parenting arrangements without going to court. A schooling dispute is stressful, but you have more options than you might think.
Who decides where your child goes to school after separation?
After you separate, both parents usually keep what the law calls parental responsibility. This is the responsibility to make decisions about your child’s care, welfare and development, and it stays with both parents unless a court orders otherwise.
Choosing a school is treated as a major long-term decision. The Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) calls these “major long-term issues”, and other examples include decisions about:
- your child’s health and medical care
- their religion or culture
- a change of name
- big changes to living arrangements that affect time with the other parent
Because schooling falls into this category, the law expects both parents to be involved. If it is safe to do so, you are expected to consult each other and make a genuine effort to reach a joint decision. This is a separate question from where the kids live after separating, even though the two are often connected.
Did the 2024 family law changes affect who decides on schooling?
On 6 May 2024, the law changed and the presumption of “equal shared parental responsibility” was removed. Simply, courts no longer start from an assumption that parents must share decision-making equally.
However, when looking at what happens if parents disagree on schooling, this legislative shift did not take parental responsibility away from anyone. Each parent still retains it unless a specific court order says otherwise. Schooling remains a major milestone decision that you are fully expected to work through together whenever it is safe to do so.
What can you do if you and your ex disagree on schooling?
When you genuinely cannot agree, there is a clear path to follow. It usually moves through these stages:
1. Talk it through.
Set out your reasons calmly and listen to theirs. Sometimes the disagreement is really about cost, distance or timing, and a practical compromise is possible.
2. Get advice and negotiate.
A family lawyer can help you understand your position and negotiate with the other parent or their lawyer.
3. Try family dispute resolution.
This is a form of mediation where a neutral practitioner helps you reach an agreement. In most cases you must attempt it and obtain a family dispute resolution certificate before you can apply to court. You can find a service through the Family Relationships Advice Line on 1800 050 321.
4. Apply to court.
If mediation does not resolve it, either parent can apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for a parenting order. The court can decide which school the child attends, or which parent makes the final call on education.
If a school deadline is looming, this is where getting interim orders in the family courts can help, because the court can decide the school question quickly while the rest of your matter is sorted out.
Most disagreements are resolved well before this final stage. Parenting orders are not only for parents, either. In some situations a grandparent or another person concerned with the child’s care can apply too, which we explain in parenting orders for non-parents and who can apply.
How does the court decide which school is best for the child?
If a disagreement about school choice reaches court, the judge does not simply pick the “better” school on paper. Every decision is guided by one principle: the best interests of the child.
According to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia, the child’s best interests are the paramount consideration in any parenting decision, including where a child goes to school.
To work out what is in the child’s best interests, the court weighs up factors such as:
- what arrangement best promotes the child’s safety and wellbeing
- the child’s own views, given more weight as they get older and more mature
- the child’s developmental, emotional, educational and social needs
- stability and continuity, including friendships and routines the child already has
- how far each school is from each parent’s home
- whether a school suits any particular needs the child has, such as learning support or a religious or cultural connection
- the practical realities, including cost and each parent’s ability to support the choice
There is no fixed formula. Two families with similar facts can end up with different outcomes, because the question is always what works for this particular child.
Can one parent enrol the child in a new school without the other agreeing?
This is one of the most common questions we hear. The short answer is that they generally should not.
If both parents have parental responsibility, both have a say in major long-term decisions like schooling. Changing or choosing a school is not something one parent can simply do alone.
In practice:
- Schools will often ask for the consent of both parents who have parental responsibility, or will follow any court orders that are in place.
- If one parent enrols a child without consulting the other, the other parent can raise it through mediation or, if needed, ask the court to step in.
- There is no automatic “default school” that dictates what happens if parents disagree on schooling. The decision still has to be made properly, either by mutual agreement or by a judge.
Frequently asked questions about schooling disagreements after separation
What happens if parents can’t agree on a school in Australia?
If you cannot agree, you are expected to try family dispute resolution first. If that does not resolve it, either parent can apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for a parenting order, and the court will decide based on the child’s best interests.
Who has the final say on a child’s schooling after separation?
Where both parents share parental responsibility, neither has an automatic final say. They are expected to decide together. If they cannot, a court can give one parent sole decision-making power over schooling or decide the school itself.
Can a child choose which school they go to?
No, a child does not get to decide. The court does consider a child’s views and gives them more weight as the child gets older and more mature, but the decision rests with the parents or, if they cannot agree, the court.
Do both parents need to agree to enrol a child in school?
Usually yes. If both parents have parental responsibility, schooling is a joint decision, and many schools will ask for both parents’ consent or follow current court orders.
Is mediation required before going to court about schooling?
In most cases yes. You generally need to attempt family dispute resolution and obtain a certificate before applying for a parenting order, unless an exemption applies, for example where there is family violence or genuine urgency.
What if a school enrolment deadline is approaching and we still disagree?
You can apply to the court for interim orders, which let a judge decide the school question quickly while the rest of your matter is worked out. Getting advice early gives you the best chance of meeting the deadline.
Getting clear advice on schooling decisions
A disagreement about your child’s school can feel high stakes, especially with a deadline bearing down. It helps to remember that the vast majority of these disputes are settled by agreement rather than by a judge, and that the law is focused on the same thing you are: what is best for your child.
Schooling is rarely the only decision on the table after separation. Many parents are also working through living arrangements and family law property settlements at the same time. If finances are part of your separation, our guide to the top 5 myths about family law property settlements is a helpful place to start.
If you and your former partner cannot agree on schooling, getting advice early gives you the most options. At Allen Evans Family Lawyers, we help parents across Sydney resolve children’s matters with clear, practical advice and a focus on keeping things out of court wherever possible. To talk through your situation, contact us or call 1300 110 080.
This article is general information only and not legal advice. For advice about your specific circumstances, contact Allen Evans Family Lawyers on 1300 110 080 or through our enquiry form.